So many kinds of love exist ... romantic, friendship, family ...
I spent a lifetime choosing partners who didn't want what I wanted and didn't feel what I felt. Those years contained amazing moments, but they also created disasters so toxic they almost destroyed me.
Our hearts expand and break and rebuild repeatedly. We are constantly learning, changing and growing.
I was wrong when I made those long-ago choices.
I was not wrong when I walked away from them.
Today, I am at peace, surrounded by love, in a life filled with the kind of trust and security I always knew existed but had never found. I'm glad I had the courage to keep searching. I'm glad I never took the advice of self-righteous people who were intensely proud of themselves for enduring miserable lives they were too cowardly to leave. I saw their ignorance and placed no value on their opinion of me.
Friends are special and the love we have for them is strong. I've had many friendships through the years, but only three of those cherished people hold a serious claim on my heart today. One, from childhood ... We only reach out to each other every ten years or so, but I know she's there ... She will always be there. Two other good friends came into my life in the 60's and 70's and will always have a special place in my thoughts and memories ... but I became unable to nurture those friendships and reluctantly walked way ... looking back over my shoulder with every step ... and with great love.
They understood.
Then, there's motherhood ... the love that surpasses all others ...
Loyalty and commitment teach us never to leave our own flesh and blood, and it's a belief system we all embrace ... but if years go by during which souls without mercy thrive on our pain, our broken spirits will finally turn away.
Love is elastic. It stretches, retracts and changes shape constantly, but sometimes love ... even the most precious kind between parent and child ... can reach a breaking point.
When talking has failed and words no longer have meaning ... when you have too little strength left and too much pain waiting up ahead ... it's time to walk away.
Neither blame nor justification is required.
Simply. walk. away.
email: MelindaGerner@yahoo.com
