Only Three Things ...

 

"In the end, only three things matter:

how much you loved, how gently you lived,

and how gracefully you let go of 
 things not meant for you.  
Buddha

 

Thinking what my final grades will be: 

 

How much I loved ...

 

I got that one. 

I sailed through the years, loving - or wanting to love - everything in my path:  cotton fields, magnolia blossems, freight trains, mongrel pups, books ... old friends, new friends, best friends, girlfriends ... boyfriends.  I loved a big brother who was in my life from the beginning and a precious niece who came when I was ten ... When my own five babies arrived, I loved them fiercely and forever.   And my father ... oh, I loved him so ... 

 

How gently I lived ...

 

Put a black mark by my name. 

I lived on the highest brightest mountain tops and I lived through the deepest darkest valleys.  I lived upside down, wrong side out, topsy-turvy.   Gently was nowhere to be found.

How gracefully I let go of things not meant for me ...

I failed that one too.   I wanted, desperately, to keep what never belonged to me.   Silent struggles lasted decades and depleted both my strength and my self-respect.  When the letting go finally took place, it happened without a shred of grace or dignity. 

But ... how much I loved?

I got that one.


email:  MelindaGerner@yahoo.com