I looked at the overview of this blog today (those of you who have blogs of your own will know what I mean), and I studied the history of my audience. Readers have come - and are still coming - from Russia, Australia, Germany, France, Canada, Poland, United Kingdom, Ukraine and Portugal, as well as huge numbers from the United States. Many have been faithful followers through the past eight years, and I've been grateful for their interest and comments and friendship.
This blog won't exist much longer. I'm losing my eyesight now, and blindness is going to defeat me in ways Rheumatoid Arthritis never could.
Karen stayed close beside me as an eye specialist delivered the life-altering diagnosis in a brisk, professional, matter-of -fact manner.
I had age-related macular degeneration, he said, and it would progress. There was no cure. There was no treatment except large doses of zeaxanthin and lutein ... two supplements extrated from the marigold plant ... along with huge amounts of other essential vitamins and minerals. This strategy would not repair the damage already done, but might slow the progress of the disease.
Back home again, I quickly turned on the computer and ordered a powdered formula containing zeaxanthin and lutein. I've followed dosage instructions faithfully during the past two months. As far as I can tell, it has done nothing for my eyes, but my rheumatoid arthritis pain has diminished dramatically, so this black cloud hanging over my life does have a silver lining.
RA had already chipped away at my health for several years before I knew an enemy existed. It was during the 2002 Christmas season that it knocked me to the ground and gained my full attention.
A family get-together was in full swing at Honey Gail's house when, without warning, I realized I was in serious trouble. Karen quickly got me down the road to my house and into my own bed, and for the next several months I pretty much remained in that room, believing I must have the worst case of flu known to civilized man.
Karen called often from Nashville as Honey Gail, in Roland, assumed full responsibility for my care. I refused to go to a doctor because I knew "I'd be better tomorrow." After a few months of a better tomorrow not happening, my children took me to the hospital against my will, and the long process was set in motion to identify my illness and match me up with the right drug.
RA is a dreadful disease ... not just because it destroys joints, but because it will often attack internal organs as well. I've had swallowing problems, aspirated pneumonia, heart attack and oxygen-deprived brain damage ... all caused - directly or indirectly - by rheumatoid arthritis.
I was 67 when RA was diagnosed. After a lot of research I opted not to take the new biologic drugs. Their probable risks outweighed any possible benefits in my case. I did agree to take Plaquenil and still take it today. Knowing this drug could cause blindness, an eye exam was required by doctors before every prescription renewal. When eye trouble finally came, it was caused by old age. Plaquenil was innocent.
(Plaquenil Update: 5-19-17 ... after reading several medical reports claiming Plaquenil could cause macular degeneration to worsen, I stopped taking it five months ago. It was hard to give that drug up after fourteen years of steady use. My RA pain came back with a vengeance. Still ... I'm more afraid of being cast into total darkness than I am of RA pain ... so I will never take Plaquenil again.)
Karen took over my care twelve years ago and has been my steady anchor in this stormy sea ever since.
Whatever would I do without Karen and Honey Gail? It doesn't bear thinking about.
Today, I'm eighty years old ... crippled and half-blind, but life goes on and I have much to be thankful for. When I weigh the good against the bad of my long lifetime, the good wins out a hundred times over.
On better days ... when my mind is clear and my fingers are agile ... I can still write. The writing part is easy. My hands move across the keyboard with no need for eyesight. As fast as a thought crosses my mind, my fingers transfer it to this blog. It's the proof reading that takes forever. I sometimes lean so close my nose is almost touching the computer screen as I examine one slow word after another.
Knowing my ability to write may end soon makes me want to say everything as quickly as possible.
Beginning today ....
email: MelindaGerner@yahoo.com
